It was the weekend for school supply shopping. As I fought the crowds and purchased my tax-free goodies, I was wowed by how extraordinary my 11-years of Back-to-School experiences as a mother have been.
Twelve years ago, my children were approaching school age and all I saw was six hours a day in which to regain sanity! What would I do with that time? Would I get a job, hang-out at coffee shops with other housewives, read books and watch TV to my heart’s content? The house would be immaculate and I would always look unfazed! I had child #1 in school for one year and thought, “I can do better than this – I am going to home school.”
Those elementary years nearly did me in! They were so labor intensive! “Mommy, what is a noun?” “Mommy, what is 2+2?” And the crafts…oh the crafts that elementary students have to do! Crafts for Art, crafts for Science, color for Math, draw a picture for Story Time. After a three years of that experience I found myself jumping for joy when another opportunity presented itself.
We were going to Japan and they had a school for the missionary kids! They would get a good, Christian education while I played the role of a good missionary wife. But then…they needed a teacher for the elementary students. To this day, I don’t know why I agreed, except that they needed me. I went from two elementary students in two grades, to 10 elementary students in three grades. I grew to like it, and some days even enjoy it. It was the best of both worlds. A job, interaction with an adult world, and hours that afforded me plenty of mommy time and control of their education. But, I was always praying for another opportunity to present itself.
When we returned to the states, we had no idea what we would do next or where we would go. So, until we figured that out, I resumed my role as home school mom. This time it was for 2 middle schoolers. Hello insecurity! We were now broaching subjects that were just way over my head. It lasted one year, then child #2 was in public school and child #1 was in a lot of home school co-op classes. Wow, was I thankful to discover home school co-ops! Before we knew it our lives were in transition again, this time change was coming in the middle of a school year and home school was just the logical option.
For the past three years we have done a combination of parent taught classes and co-op taught classes. But I am still confused and unsure. Everyday I wrestle with questions like, “Are we doing what’s best?” “Are they getting everything they need?” “Is it bad that I work full-time too?” All sorts of crazy insecurities plague me.
But, I am growing in letting them go. As I mature in this area of motherhood and our parenting choices, I realize there is no formula. There are no guarantees regardless of what books you read, rules you follow, or format you choose. Every family will do it differently and every child will turn out differently. Just like fingerprints.
I’m finally learning that I won’t ever find security in my methodologies. Over the years I often felt I wasn’t making a free choice in our children’s education. I felt as if circumstances were dictating them. Moving so often, into such non-traditional environments, often forced our decisions. Thinking that circumstance was my master lead me to believe I was doing something I really wasn’t capable of. Fear and insecurity reigned in my home school mothering conscience. But, I have grown and I know better! My sovereign and loving Heavenly Father orchestrated all our moves, homes, circumstances, and surroundings. It is ultimately He who raises my children. I am blessed to be a tool in His plan for their lives. And I am so blessed to hear trained co-op teachers say, “He/She is such a smart, respectful, excellent student.”
I had a blast shopping this weekend and I am looking forward to another great year schooling my kids, this way, this year… Because, no one knows how we’ll be doing it next year!
Has it really been 3 weeks since I last wrote anything?! I have been trying to write, really. One of my birthday gifts from James was a new laptop battery so that I could sit out at the picnic table, where I take my lunch break, and write. I
have to admit I was way too into my other birthday gift (the e-reader) to stop and write. I’ve read 4 novels in the six-weeks I’ve had my e-reader, my favorite being my most recent, The Hunger Games. Great read – highly recommend it. Time permitting, I’ll review it for those who are interested.
everyone was home. That was fun! We went to Grand Caverns in Grottoes, VA. God’s creation always amazes me!
There is my list of excuses for three weeks of not blogging. However, I have been thinking of things to write about. I am going to take an e-reading sabbatical to get these thoughts out and written. You’ll find them posted in a series, over the next few weeks under the Devotions tab of this blog. God has had me processing though some stuff that I would like to share with anyone interested. I pray it will reach the hearts of those who need to hear it and be ministered to.
Journals of a Sojourner 